A good night's sleep

Right, that's it. There were some satin sheets that had been sitting in the cupboard for a fairly long time and I gave them a go this week. But I'm fed up with being chased around all night by bloody sliding pillows, which by the morning somehow manage to propel themselves off the bed and, via collecting a few items on the bedside tables, onto the floor. You also can't lean them against the wall, because they promptly slide back down again. NOT WORTH IT.

Also, anyone want to buy a small, furry alarm clock? It appears to be permanently set for five thirty IN THE MORNING, it goes off randomly several times in the middle of the night, and the snooze function doesn't work.

(No, it's not really for sale.)