I'm not a homophobe, I just think equal rights for gays will destroy us all

As the Pope explains how equal rights for gays will destroy humanity (and the usual suspects throw around inaccurate slurs like "homophobia" - how is it "homophobic" to fear that gays are going to dismantle civilization and cause the extinction of our species?), it occurs to me that it's about time we heterosexual people who oppose equality for gays sat down and made a comprehensive list of our excellent and not in any way pathetically inconsistent and idiotic reasons why.

To that end, I present a sort of "poll", where you patriots can select the brilliant arguments against gay marriage that most explain why YOU insist on our government maintaining what we've recently started calling "traditional marriage"* (as defined by the Howard Government's 2004 changes to the Marriage Act), so that we know which lines to push the hardest:

Why should governments maintain or implement legislation preventing gay people from being married?
	Leviticus says it's an "abomination", and I want governments to implement all the laws of the Old Testament.
	Gays can't have children, and marriage is about children (I'd ban old and infertile people from it too).
	Gay men probably have anal sex, and that's just icky.
	Bestiality is next: once we permitted women to vote, we were powerless to prevent horses from voting too!
	It's not that I don't like gay people, it's just that I think most of them are jerks - and jerks should never be allowed to get married.
	If you let gay people use the word "marriage", then what's special about my marriage? What? I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING!
	If gay people can get married, many straight people will turn gay and stop procreating.
	I'm a language traditionalist: "marriage" means what it did in the Old Testament: polygamy and wife ownership.
	Polygamy. I don't have a good argument against gay marriage, but maybe there's one against polygamy.**)
	I don't want people I used to be able to feel superior to being treated fairly by the government.
pollcode.com free polls

Have I left any out? Feel free to add your best and most logical ones in the comments.

UPDATE: Mondo and Iain heroically suggest some more:

*"Defending traditional marriage" focus-group tested as a much better slogan than "keeping the poofs down".
**If you can think of one, please don't specify what it is, or the attempt to link gay marriage and polygamy will collapse!

	We should maintain the discrimination because the gays already have equal rights (and this oxymoronic line somehow makes sense to me).
	I am insecure in my own sexuality and find the concept of gay marriage slightly titillating, which makes me even more insecure about my own sexuality, so I think it should be banned to protect me from these horribly unsettling feelings.
pollcode.com free polls

We've got them on the run now! Watch those Christian-hating communist lefty perverts squirm!