Lynne Kosky's office to have seats removed

Like Melbourne's trains, the office of notoriously incompetent and universally reviled Victorian Public Transport Minister Lynne Kosky will have seating removed in a bid to squeeze more complaints from angry Melbourne commuters onto the already bursting piles of hate mail on her floor.

Ms Kosky said the removal of all the seats in her office would "make a huge difference in making me seem slightly less of an insensitive hypocrite".

"Presently in my office there's sufficient seating that I and my visitors can take a seat rather than standing for hours at a time, like we're intending making more Melbourne commuters do. Obviously that makes me look like a complete twat," she said.

"In peak periods when my office fills up with angry constituents, hassled staffers fielding angry telephone calls and the piles upon piles of correspondence demanding my resignation from everyone who has to use the public transport system I never wanted to administer, this will make it possible to move in here."

The changers are expected to be similar to those enacted in education minister Bronwyn Pike's office recently when, in keeping with her announcement that air conditioning was unnecessary in schools, she had [people suggest she should have] the air conditioning ripped out of her office as well.

Meanwhile, referring to the Minister's similar recent adjustments to passenger trains in the city, Opposition Transport spokesman, Terry Mulder, slammed the new seat arrangement, saying "passengers are paying more, getting less, going slower and are now being asked to stand". He said some trains from Pakenham could take up to 77 minutes to reach the city.

"So you are looking at 2½ hours standing on public transport," he said, before confirming his party's firm commitment to slash funding for public transport even further if they were ever elected, just like they did last time.