Not everyone will be there, of course. That gay bishop they eventually consecrated in 2003 won't (well, not in an official capacity; apparently church members are still allowed to observe!), because he's no longer an Anglican and has nothing to contribute to a discussion of Christianity... no, wait, that's not true - it's purely because he's gay and wants the church to consider compassionately the lives of its gay and lesbian flock. Sicko.
And one of our archbishops won't be going, either -
Sydney Anglican Archbishop Peter Jensen last month said that the bishops of his diocese would not attend the Lambeth Conference because of the ongoing rift over gay clergy and same-sex unions.
Obviously there's absolutely nothing else that Peter could discuss at the conference other than gay clergy and same-sex unions. Who could talk about the major issues of Christianity, the things about which Jesus spoke repeatedly, when there's a gay bishop somewhere about?
Seriously, it's as if the major churches have the attention spans of goldfish. Our Lord has told us to advocate for the meek, for peace, for the poor, and ... wait a second, the gays are asking for equal rights! What were we talking about before? Well, whatever it was, it can't have been as important as this issue about which the Messiah never spoke a word. Nothing else matters until we get this one sorted out, okay?
*Ring*, *Ring*
Hello?
Peter? This is Jesus.
Oh Lord! Lord! My God! Jesus Christ!
That's My name, don't wear it out.
Lord, what can I, your humble, obedient servant, do for You?
Peter, I want you to use your pulpit to spread My gospel of love, forgiveness, tolerance and compassion.
Oh, okay, Lord.
You'll do that now?
Well...
Sorry?
Well, it's this gay thing. I know that You are really big on that other "love" stuff, and I really want to concentrate more on that issue, run it past my parishioners, that sort of thing, but there's only so many hours in the day, you know?
What "gay thing"?
You know, the one You meant to talk about but had to leave it up to Paul to mention as a footnote to a letter somewhere.
Not really one of My priorities, Peter.
Well, sure, but we're helping You out with that. Seriously having a go at spreading Your Holy Word on the subject. Well, Paul's.
...
Lord?
Peter, could you please get back to the stuff I actually talked about?
Definitely! Definitely. Just got to deal with this gay thing first. Then I'll be right on it.
*Click*
Lord? Lord? Oh. Maybe He was really busy too. When this gay thing's fixed, I'll have to offer to help Him out.
(Thanks to award-winning Ms Fits for reminding me of the sadly-neglected Ring, Ring. Why has this wonderful art form been dormant for so long? Together, we can revive it.)
